She Dared: Interview Series – Nerida Mills

How Dare She, Interview Series, Redefining Success, The Power Of Women

Was there a catalyst for you becoming daring or do you think you were born this way?

I have always been somewhat daring. I’ve always pushed the boundaries that other people set of what was possible or “a good idea”. I’ve always wanted to lead and stand out.


I was extremely lucky to have two parents that encouraged me and supported my desire to adventure and lead from a young age. Their love and support is a huge part of why I have been able to lead my life the way that I do.

Within that, there has certainly been tipping points or straws that were broken to propel me forward yet again.

As a teenager, it was a feeling of isolation that drove me to seek myself through the world.

When my hair fell out and people thought a wig would be a good idea, we can call it borderline arrogant self-belief, that stepped in and gave me the ‘devil may care’ attitude that allowed me to ignore the stares and comments.
More recently, losing who I thought I was and wanted pushed me to discover what I could actually be, which lead me to start my business.

Then, seeing my children in extreme pain in the public school system lead me to blend running a business with homeschooling my three children as a single mum. Many people, myself included, were unsure if I could pull it off. But I dared and here I stand, successful at both.

What did it feel like the first time you dared to stand in that power?

The lightbulb moment for that daring shift was realising that I had what my kids needed. I understood human behaviour and experience creation. I knew that emotional intelligence was more important than them having an ability to do algebra in grade 3. I knew that I could build a business later if need be, but I didn’t want to rebuild my grown-up children. That confidence in myself, the faith I had is what allowed me to believe it could be possible. It just could be. I am invested in my kids more than any teacher ever will be and so we jumped off the ledge and took a leap of faith. As it turns out, my kids had exactly what I needed too.

What do you think the difference is between being brave and being fearless?

I believe the difference between being brave and being fearless is sometimes time and mostly faith.

Being brave comes about when you are terrified and act anyway. When you don’t know how something is going to turn out but you want to find out. It takes a lot of courage to push through the doubt and potential dangers of a situation in order to reach the point you’re aiming for.

Fearlessness comes from a knowing. Having faith in your own abilities to handle whatever comes your way, that you have your own back, that no matter what you will be okay. And faith in the universes ability to support you through it. You can call that god, angels, Buddha, Mohammed, mother earth, your family and friends, whatever you like. But faith that you will be supported when you need it.

I think being daring is like any other thing in your life, the more you do it, the better you get at it. At first, it can feel clunky and a bit fake and you rely on being brave to push you forward. Then you find yourself standing strong in the face of adversity ready to take a leap of faith with excitement rather than fear. Being pulled forward. Building the muscle with small things helps and then trusting yourself on the big things is a must.

Now that you dare, do you dare others? How?

Daring is certainly contagious. My business is built around helping others to dare, to live a life fearlessly and powerfully. I’ve also noticed that, as I dare, so to do the others in my life.

They see that I have not imploded and that, in fact, I am happier and they want some of that.

I find that with my clients too, the more we dare the more we empower others to do the same simply by showing them how. Much like a smile.

Daring often takes courage which means facing fear. Some call it ‘dragon slaying’.

The metaphorical dragon slew on my journey was the one telling me that I am not good enough, that I had to be something else in order to be accepted. That if I wanted love I had to make sure I pleased other people over my own needs.

Happy to have that fucker dead.

When I am about to take a step now I hear myself. I have spent years influencing my subconscious mind to give me the encouragement I desire and deserve. I used to hear naysayers, but I don’t anymore. Now I hear, “you got this” “keep going” “you’re doing amazingly”. My head has become a happy place and I am very grateful to my younger self for trusting the process and spending the time to change it.

Is there a process you go through to tap into your daring self?

Now, it’s simple. For the big game dares, my process is the same.

I decide what I want.

I have a literal conversation with the universe and demand that it shows up and make it happen with me.

I bring into my meditations visualisation of the successful experience I am looking for.

Finally, I reach out to my networks and see who can support me in the process, I get my butt moving on making it happen and I watch as the synchronicities roll in as the process unfolds and I am directed where I want to be.

It is certainly not always the path I was expecting to take, but the “how” isn’t so important. In fact, I have found the more we put limitations on how our experience will unfold, the more we experience push back or challenge in being daring.

To dare is to surrender to yourself and the process.

To become fearless and live a life that lights you up, turns you on and inspires every part of you and the lucky people who get to watch you shine.

Nerida Mills

Nerida is a NLP and Meta Dynamics practitioner, psychosomatic therapist and hypnotherapist. She spends her spare time home schooling her three children and finding new ways to infiltrate experience to bring even more happiness, awe and peace into life. She shares her gifts through her retreats, one on one and group programs.

 

Why are we doing this thing? Because there’s enough noise in the world telling women what we ‘should’ be doing.

We should parent more consciously, but not be helicopter parents. We should take care of our bodies, but not be vain. We should make boys pay, but demand equal rights. We should dress appropriately, but also be confident in our skin, wear what we want, but not be provocative, oh and please feel comfortable in the world’s skimpiest school bathers but then wear your jeans to the formal because last year the boys looked up the girls’ skirts and so you’ll have to be the ones to modify your behaviour. Yeah. No. 

We are a mother and daughter writing team who launched a platform for women 14 –  104. Women who need to read stories of daring. Women who need to write them.

How Dare She relies on donations to keep us ticking along. Help us pay for all those little things that keep a website running, and you’ll be rewarded with inspiring stories, a kickass community, and warm fuzzies. ♥

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